Diaphanous.Transparent. Revealing. Finely wrought. Three things that describe France and its people very well.
When traveling in France or talking with one of my French friends, one of the things I appreciate most is never having to guess what they think or how they feel. They're the most transparent people I know. They are what they are, they think what they think, and they're a lot like... well, Chenonceau in the fog (pictured).
France and its people are wonderful to behold, but woe to anyone who underestimates their strength and substance.The French are probably emotionally healthier than many other cultures because they don't let things fester. If they're mad at you, they'll tell you. They just come right out with it -- in conversation, in politics, in traffic -- and they don't play mind games. There's something great about that. By not reining in their personal opinions (by not "going easy" on you), they're in fact paying you a compliment. They're assuming that you can take it... that you can engage them as an equal... that you can hang onto your convictions and defend them like a bulldog. (Better make that a French bulldog, though...)
How to apply all this to our culture? We think of ourselves as outspoken, but I think we still tend to beat around the bush a little too much. Transparency is a good thing. It wins respect.
And respect wins friends.
It is rather refreshing when people are straightforward. I think in the US, we are outspoken but in a very different way. We tend to pile on the snark and the quips about things that don't relate directly to us, but we shy away from honesty with each other far too often. I agree with you that the French seem to be far more frank; consider the origin of that word, after all. :)
ReplyDeleteNow that you mention this... I met a couple of French people while in Japan, on separate occasions, and although I didn't notice anything in particular with the guy, I did notice a difference in frankness with the girl. She was quite direct in stating her thoughts and her inquiries of my opinions. I chalked it up to her personality rather than a trait that is noted as being typically French. Although, I do feel that her thoughts were rather transparent at times. Which was a nice change of pace, since I was getting a bit tired of people tip-toeing around the hard subjects and having so many layers that I could hardly tell if I was correctly guessing what was on their mind or not.
ReplyDeleteYou're right. It is definitely a nice change of pace to deal with someone on an equal footing of "frank-ness."
ReplyDeleteThis is a great take on diaphanous. I think Americans have become too P.C. in some ways. However, is such directness always constructive? At what point do people stop listening and start getting defensive?
ReplyDeleteI know I always get in trouble for open mouth, insert foot, but I have yet to decide if the problem is with the context or the content. Are Americans willing to listen to the truth if it's whispered as opposed to yelled? Or is truth in general not a polite topic of conversation?
Jacqueline, one of the things I like about our FLAN 4023 group is this "frankness"... especially the exchanges between you and Kyle. As for your question, "at what point do people stop listening and start getting defensive," I think the underlying issue is this: when the stakes are high, do we stop speaking truth just because people don't like it?
ReplyDeleteAll very well said - very "frank"! And that's a French bulldog...didn't know! And yes, I like the frankess of your 4023 group...and the frankness of comments and the willingness to challenge and to be challenged...it's a unique group!
ReplyDeleteVery interesting! I have never traveled to France, nor have I had any specific interaction with the French (to my knowledge, anyway), and without your post I never would have thought about this. Americans certainly "beat around the bush" too much. I don't know if it is because we are afraid of hurting people's feelings, or if it's a deeper issue. I know that I appreciate it when people are more straightforward with me.
ReplyDeletePS - I love French bulldogs. They are so, so cute. :)
I guess this is why some people think the French are rude. Just because you say the truth doesnt mean you are rude!
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